Forgive others seventy times seven times?!

                       Retrieved Forgive, 23 March,2015 from https://www.google.com.my/search?q=forgive&es_sm=

Forgive others seventy times seven times?!

Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.…       Mathew 18:21-23

When I first read this verse in the Bible,

I did not fully comprehend the depth of its meaning,

because I thought to forgive someone meant to forgive everything he or she had ever done to you.

I believe that you were hurt by someone you loved before,
but you still always keep him/her deep inside your heart.

I thought that it was easy for me to forgive someone, because I had a relationship problem before when I was primary school student. I had a very close friend during my primary school time.

One day, we had argument and then we lost contact nearly one year. Eventually, I saw her and I realized that she study in the same secondary school with me. Then slowly we recover our relationship during our conversation and we find out misunderstanding happened in our relationship.

But this things is really different from love story, because I do not feel like want to apologize and take action to ask him to forgive me. At first, I think that he is not that bad person and gave lots of good memories to me. Slowly, I found out that he started to cheat and behave mysterious. He is not the people that I know before anymore. 

Sometimes I had a strong hatred for him, 

I hold strong prejudice against everything he had done, I keep finding his mistakes and bad habits, because I thought that it will make me feel better.

During that hard time, my life is really dark because my mind and heart was stained with contempt and hurt.

However, I realized that this kind of thinking is not good which displeases God greatly. Hence, it is a must for me to start praying to God for forgiveness and until now I still always keep him in my prayers. From my experience I know that this kind of relationship will easily get worse if I do not take concern.

Jesus said we need to love each other even though he or she is not cute and lovely at all, we still need to love them just like how we love ourselves and forgive them just like how Jesus Christ forgave us.

Dear Lord,

I pray to you because I really want to know when can I stop hurting and smile sincerely to the person who had hurt me. And please forgive me because I still do not fully forgive your lovely child. Give me strength and guide me always. For you are the only one who can heal my soul and heart.

God do listen to my prayer, 
He sent me so many angels and they are always willing to be my listeners;

They give me lots of strength and emotional support so that I could be motivated to face him and say “hello” to him with a smile and it also gave me the courage to ask him for forgiveness first.

However, 
I still hate him and the feeling of pains and sadness will still come back after I asked him to forgive me. I quite hate myself for this, and I feel disappointed that things just did not get back to normal because I really thought that I can love him as a brother in Christ and a friend after we had the same consensus about our relationship now.

I told myself that I have already done the best that I could do for this, but the situation still did not change much. Maybe only God can change him.

Forgive others seventy times seven times!

It doesn't mean that we count up to 490 times, and then stop forgiving him/her.
I found out that it held a deeper meaning than that,

We need to forgive them unaccountably.

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOVE 

And 
FORGIVE ANOTHER ONE

一个人也可以很好！

现实和想像是不一样的。
我以为我可以的，但我还是做不到。

我还是很期待我们的关系可以和以前那样做回朋友。
从今天看来我失败了。
心情低落，又哭了。
埋怨上帝 我还要为着同样的事影响自己到几时呢？

我想 发生过的事不能就这样当作没发生过。
该做的不该做的 都尽我的能力做了。
但还是没有什么改变，或许只有神能改变他吧！

有时我很讨厌他，不那么做出男人应该有的绅士。

想了又想 有点怀念以前中学的时候 没有烦恼 勇于做回自己。
但 现在 想法 都会受人影响而且都挺现实的。

我累了，真的！
很想一个人脱离这里。
接触新的环境，人事物！

想念

Cry, Retrieved 26 October, 2014 from
https://www.google.com.my/search

每个人的心里，都有让你思念 的人。 无论是 亲人，爱人，或是友人。

想念你了.....

之前一直克制自己不再去 关注你的消息,

但这几个星期有着莫名的强烈感 催促我去留意你，看看你最近做了什么事。

这一次 我又哭了。 哭着对 天父说了很多事。
听着 之前对你有感觉的歌，

每一首歌都让我再一次回亿着我们之前的点点滴滴。

现在的我 不忘继续以耐心等候的心 等待那个对的人出现。

满心盼望着 被主祝福的爱情 是值得等待的:)

SELF

Mirror, Retrieved 26 August, 2014 from
https://www.google.com.my/search

Mirror, mirror, mirror...

Who is the most prettiest in the world?

What if you think about yourself when you look at the mirror?

Whenever I look at the mirror,

I always has this question in my mind.

And I always end up unsatisfied about my appearance.

Because I like to compared myself to others.

When I look at the mirror,

I know that I'm so ugly inside my heart, my thought, and my attitude.

I not a good person, I have so many weaknesses, and sins that need God to forgive me.

However, most of us are always look at the negative side of ourselves.

We always feel unsatisfied with what we are now.

We didn't notice that we are amazing and wonderful as we are the awesome creation that made from God.

Hence, because of this we must give thanks for what we are now.

Think of this reason and feel happiness whenever you look at the mirror.

And say thank you to God
With a Smiley Face ;)

MONEY

The Purge,, Retrieved 3 July, 2014 from https://www.google.com.my/.

The Purge inspired me that when you is rich you have the power to do anything.

MONEY means many things from different people.

Money means capital.
Money means time. 
Money means rich. 
Money means power. 
Money means everything.

To me
Money is somethings that can avoid me to become poverty.
Money buy me the degree certificate.
Money buy me the knowledge.
Money can fulfill my needs and desires.

When I was young,
RM 10 felt like RM 100；
Now RM 10 feel like RM 1.  

It is true that
We can't survive without Money nowadays.

Everything is increase quickly, except salary.
Living cost is high in Malaysia now compared few years back.
Hence, work hard, study smart, spend your money wisely.

D.E.A.T.H

Stairway to heaven, Retrieved 6 August 2014, from.https://www.google.com.my/search?q=heaven.

Everyone have their own purpose of life that created in this world.
Even an object or animal.

Recently, many incidents keep happening after the incident of MH 370.
I don't know how people feel about this.
Maybe some people may think that this is non of their business.
But to me, I keep thinking about the real meaning of Death.

I realized that life is really short and unknown.
We do not know what will happened to us next.

Death divided into 2 types, one is we die because of illness which is a normal phenomena to us, another is because of accident or war.


So, lets ask ourselves a question.
What will you do if you know that you will going to die next month?
And if you have the answers, you will know that this is really important to you.
And you will feel regret if you not do this before you die.

For me to share the evangelism with my loves one is most important.
Because I hope that we can meet together in the heaven.

Hence, if I die, I think I'll die happily.
I will tell my friends and family members that don't cry or feel sad,
Because I'm just back to my real home, a home that is happy, no sorrow, no war.
Most important that it is with my Father in Heaven.

Hence, friends
We do not know how we die,
But we know what we want to live for.

Jesus said 'I'm the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

FRIEND

Friend, Retrieved 26 June, 2014 from www.google.com.my

Friend. Everybody need friend?!

I keep thinking when I'm in degree about this questions.

Do people has no friend at all in their life?

Why must we have friend?

After few days when I'm begin my degree life.

I found out the answers.

We need friends when group assignments happened.

So that we can finish work on the due date.

We need friend it is because when we absent,

Friends is the one who can tell me about the updated information from lecturer.

We need friend in our life to share how we feel,

Friend is the most suitable people for us to talk to because we are in the same level and friends know  how exactly we feel.

On the other hand, 

Friend also is the one who can hurt us the most.

They will betray us in the because of their own benefit.

They will feel envy about what we have.

So,

This are the things that I analyse about the friend.

I found out that, uni friends are not my close friend yet,

It is because I think that we made friends are because of the assignments purpose.

Hence, Uni friends are hardly to become a buddy and close friends for me compared to primary and secondary school's friends and also church friends now.

However, I know that I still have two more years to build a close relationship with them. 
And I'm sure that some of my uni friend might be my buddy for future ;)